Wait what? what do you mean we never talk?
Mmm.. The number 1 excuse in the world. And a huge factor in why most relationships don’t make it past 5 years. Even bigger than the dreaded”It’s not you, it’s me” comment. But! before we dive deep into this mystory I first would like to ask a question…
Honesty is key here 🔑
When was the last time you thought about someone other than yourself? 🤔
Yikes! that was pretty direct wasn’t it? Well, that’s okay. Because this is where repairing your relationship will start. Is With you. But in terms of this writing it is a paradox.
Yes you need to think about you but think in terms of how you can be better to better the relationship. That this is where communication will come into play.
This will consist of thinking about the other person instead of yourself and this technique is mutually beneficial and can be quite fun! Ill get into to how a little later. I promise
After years of being together the realtionship has become stale you are both working so much and when your home you are either benging netflix or mindlessly scrolling your news feed on a number of social medias.
When you do talk its either about yourself, the kids, or how great or horrible work was that day and it is the same exact conversation every. Single. Day. It becomes boring. Un interesting and repetitive.
Think about it. Would you really want to stick around year after year with someone if you are bored out of your mind with that person? Yes! if your committed but you would be miserable and unhappy. It sucks I know, and guess what..?
Did you guess?
You got it! there is a solution (: Yayyy! I will get to it shortly 🥰.
Always remember the paradox
Think about yourself in terms of benefiting the other person 🔑
In this case. Your significant other. Remember from earlier I mentioned mindlessly scrolling through social media? What do we normally look for when we are doing this?
- What makes us laugh?
- What makes us excited?
- What makes us Smile?
- Fun things to do.
- Community and groups that aligns with our interest.
- Certain news that we actually care about.
- Etc..
Point is. The average person is on social media to find things that interest them. Some form of entertainment to get away from the daily grind. So, the question then becomes: How do we use this to our advantage in a relationship with our significant other?
The Solution
Simple.
Get to know your significant other all over again just like it was the first time the both of got together.🔑
This could actually be pretty fun! get creative and watch the magic happen(:
Instead of seeking things that interest you, start seeking things that interest your lover. And this will have the beginnings of an interesting conversation every time you talk. Thus making the time you spend together less dull.
Truth is. Most people only care to talk about themselves. Their interest what they like and don’t like to do. Goals, dreams, etc… Meaning people will always talk if you get them to talk about what THEY want to talk about.
The end result?
You will not only be thier lover. But ALSO their bestfriend.🔑
Tips ✨
Ask questions:
First and for most ask questions. This will show your lover that you have a genuine interest in getting to know them again. Most importantly increase your resorprosity between you and your partner. Try asking Him/Her what’s their favorite type of food and surprise them by taking them out to eat at a place that serves the specific food type. Use this opportunity to continue getting to know them again.
Use Social Media :
In this day and age 90% of people use social media. It is our life line. It’s where we post about our interest, things we would love to do and join communities and groups of like minded individuals. Try looking at your partners feed. What do they post often what are they consistently sharing about talking about? what type of communities are they apart of? Use this information to learn more about your partner. (Just don’t tell them you are doing it🔑.) The result will be your partner will began to feel like you have common interest and are more alike than previously thought. This could save your relationship!
Become familiar with the information:
After asking the questions in the beginning and going through social media to find out what makes your lover tick, begin to learn more about those specific topics and interest. If your lady is into makeup or is involved in a community of people bringing awareness to a specific cause, or your Man is into Cars and sports etc.. read up on it. Study it. And become familiar with the topic. When the time comes after you’ve ask about their day, ask about one of their interest that you’ve read up on and became familiar with then watch how lit up they will be talking about it. Making for a conversation that can last for hours and something other then the kids and work.
I promise. They will love you for it❤
In time. The more interest you take in them the more interest they will begin to take in you the end result will be resorprity between you and your lover creating a relationship built to last. 🙂 Try it out!
Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed and please! let me know if this was beneficial for you and share with others. Hit that like button and follow, Thanks again! 🤞💕
Intelligent Relationships 